The Negative Impact Of High handed Traditional Marriages In Igbo Land by Chichi fidel Otti-Onuko

"...Are you trying to sell your daughter to us? Please she is too expensive, we certainly would get someone cheaper out there". This was the response which a potential son-in-law gave to his supposedly father in law whose daughter's hands were gradually been customised by wrinkles as she was already in her late thirties. It should be noted that at this point in time, the parents are probably careless about the inner affectionate craving of their daughters but rather pursue their personal interest which is largely based on financial returns.

I have always had this feeling that the average Igbo man, feels that he is investing (just as in a business enterprise) in his daughters which he hopes to make huge profit from, when the business matures. It is even more laughable to know that these ladies are sometimes graded based on educational qualifications.
When a struggling young man finally agrees to take up the task to get married, he is faced with the demand of ensuring that he attends to every item on the various lists which are presented to further meet the interest of the lady's grandparents, parents, siblings, extended family members and sometimes those family friends who would always claim to have had a hand in the growth and developmental stages of the lady's life; these ones, I can call the "we were there when she was given birth to and we saw her group up committee".

As this is very common in the Igbo land, it is most recently still being experienced in certain families in certain villages in certain states.
I once had a girlfriend from Mbano part of Imo State, who will always remind me that I will have to clean the chair I will seat on when I come for introduction with the sum of three million naira simply because she is the only daughter and I will also constantly remind her that menopause is a respecter of no woman and that she should pollinate while her nectar is still juicy and flowers still bright and shiny in order to avoid placing a vacancy which will read, "Husband needed", someday.
This brings about late marriages, it kills true love, she may end up marrying the wrong person and it may even reduce the level of respect which the lady may get from her man who may likely get mixed feelings whenever the thought of the financial hurdle he had to overcome in "purchasing" her, comes up.
It is also important to note that a dress may be too expensive and may still not get the required fitting even after much tailoring. More so, the positive energy which is put into expressing the love and affection by two young lovers may just be squashed by the negative impact of the high cost of getting her to say "Yes, I do" as placed by her immediate and extended families.

Written by Chichi fidel Otti-Onuko.